


Dear Liam

by stylinsuckcock



Category: One Direction, ziam - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-24 12:04:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/939804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylinsuckcock/pseuds/stylinsuckcock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam and Zayn have been best friends for years now. They've always been closer together than the other boys. One day Liam confesses his love for Zayn to him and he's in shock. Not saying anything for a little while, Liam takes this the wrong way and drives off to get drunk without telling anyone where he's going. Zayn didn't try to stop him, he didn't know what to do. A while later when Liam decides to head home, he gets into his car and begins to drive. He runs a red light and lands himself in the hospital about 10 minutes later. Liam's in a coma and when Zayn finds out he blames himself. Will Liam ever wake up, and if not will Zayn be able to forgive himself?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dear Liam

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is a short Ziam fic I thought of while listening to Dark Paradise- Lana Del Ray. So maybe try listening to that while reading! Each chapter is a letter to Liam that Zayn writes in a journal. I don't ship Ziam romantically, I ship Zerrie. I just wrote this for fun. Find out if Liam wakes up and what happens to Zayn. Enjoy :)

Dear Liam,  
I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when it happened, I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to hold your hand and comfort you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most. I know it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you away when you told me you loved me. I should’ve hugged you right then and there. Instead I ran away, lost and confused, feeling things I was convinced were wrong. Truth is, I felt the same all along. I’m only realizing that now though, and I’m so sorry for that. Now I know I love you, but know you’re also in a coma. I’ll always blame myself. I pushed you away and you were upset. You left before I could even think of something to say, and once reality slapped me in the face, I began to panic. I had called all the boys, asking if they had seen you. They didn’t. I should’ve known Liam, I’m so sorry. You got drunk and wanted to drive home. Or anywhere, I don’t know. And then it happened. The other boys had known first, I had cried myself to sleep and didn’t pick up the call. They came over to our room at our house, woke me, and told me what happened. That you were in critical condition, that you had been in an accident and that you didn’t have great chances of surviving. At first I sort of laughed, thinking it was a dream. But once I saw the looks on their faces, and Niall began crying once again, I knew they were serious and that this was really happening. It all was like a shock; I think I went numb for a little while. I knew what happened but didn’t accept it. Realization didn’t sink in until I was in your room at the hospital, seeing you hooked up to all these wires and monitors struggling to keep you alive. At first I thought you were just asleep, but then the doctor told me that you were in a coma. I think that was when the first tear fell, though I can’t be sure. I stepped up to your bed and your sleeping body, and the details became gruesome at that point. Your lip was busted, along with cuts all over your face and bruises accompanying them. Your hair was matted down and chest rising at a steady pace. The room would’ve been almost peaceful at the sight, but that’s when the screaming and thrashing began. I couldn’t help it; it was like my entire life had just withered into bits like the cookie crumbs you’d always leave in our bed. The boys had eventually pulled me away from you by then, and we somehow stumbled out of the hospital where I collapsed to the ground in hysterics. Niall soon joined me, while Louis was crying into Harry’s arms. It was like a scene out of a tragedy. The boys had brought me home and tried to get me to talk about it and what happened, asking me if I had any idea why. I couldn’t bring myself to say a word.


	2. My Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so you seemed to really like this story so I'll be posting more soon! Thanks for reading! :)  
> Also if you haven't already, go check out my Larry Stylinson Fanfic "Numb." Thanks!

My love,  
I woke up in the morning to a cold empty bed instead of snuggled up to you like it had always been. We’d been really close, sharing a home and always being so comfortable around each other. I thought I loved you, but if I admitted to the thought my love for you might have grown, and I thought if you found out I’d lose you altogether, my best friend and love. So I buried those feelings in the deepest part of my soul though they never died. When you told me you loved me the feelings surfaced once again. The words you said took my breath away and I was almost scared, as if you were only joking or didn’t love me the way I loved you. I panicked, so I stayed silent, thinking it’d be better I didn’t say anything at all than saying something stupid or hurtful that I didn’t mean. So when you ran away I knew the biggest mistake of my life was made. I slept only a few restless hours, feeling no better than the day before. Started smoking again though I was trying to quit. I hardly had any energy at all but I gathered enough to struggle towards the balcony; I knew you didn’t like when I smoked inside the house. Even management stepped back a bit, gave me a break from going out with Perrie. The rare occurrence it is, I decided to check twitter. The fans were being supportive towards all the boys but especially me. It’s funny how they already knew about what was going on between us before we even did. I lied in our bed for hours, your scent still lingered in the sheets. There was a knock at the door which would’ve startled me had it not been for the familiar sniffles. The rest of the boys walked into our room, they had evidently slept in the guest room. They suggested we visit you, to see how you’re doing and if you got any better or woke up. I shrugged, assuming the worst already. After about half an hour they finally convinced me and I slowly stood up, a little dizzy. None of us bothered to change our clothes or fix our hair; none of it mattered at the moment. You were dying and there was nothing we could do. Harry drove and it wasn’t long before we arrived at the same building we were at yesterday. As we made our way into the building towards the lobby I already regretted agreeing to come here. I dreaded the sight of your unmoving body and missed the sound of your voice. The woman working behind the desk allowed us in and we traveled a few floors in an elevator before stepping out and walking down the hallway towards your silent room. Louis, Harry and Niall were all in front of me, leading me towards the room. As we approached, I spotted the doctor. Once they walked in I went over to him to ask how you were. What he told me confirmed my thoughts; he said you were getting worse and that they had to stabilize you several times throughout the night. The boys were in your room when he told me, so he asked me to tell them before he rushed off down the hall to another room. At that point I questioned everything. Why is this happening? What is going to happen to you? Will you ever be well again? Will we ever be able to tell each other “I love you”? It was my fault, there wasn’t a single doubt in my mind. If I had said something instead of just standing there, maybe we’d be happy right now and you wouldn’t be dying and I wouldn’t be getting these thoughts that convinced me I had no right to live. These thoughts racing through my mind made me a little dizzy as I stepped forward to the room but I didn’t make it there. I was expecting to be inside the room but my eyes shut and the darkness just looked so nice I sort of stayed there. I sudden jolt nearly shook me from the sight of nothing but my eyes remained closed. Like I went to sleep, I guess. It felt like only a few minutes later that I was lying on something more comfortable than when I closed my eyes and the whiteness of the room nearly blinded me when I opened my eyes. 3 familiar faces of distraught boys hovered over my face from different sides of what I realized was a bed. After a few seconds of confusion they realized I was awake and told me what happened. They said I had passed out right before walking into the room because I didn’t eat since the incident, and that I’d been asleep for about an hour. The hospital said I would probably be able to go home at the end of the day. They also told me that the doctor already told them about your worsening condition. A silence suddenly fell in the room. We don’t know what we’ll do without you, Liam.


	3. My Batman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry it's taking me a while to update these, it's just that I'm starting school soon and have summer homework :( I'll do my best to write the next chapter soon though. Thanks for reading and go check out my Larry fanfiction Numb :) Enjoy!

My Batman,  
I'm back at home again, in our bed. I hope you don’t mind but I slept in one of your t-shirts. I guess they’re the closest thing I have to you. Another day I spend without you is another in hell. It's all my fault and if something happens to you Liam I swear I will never forgive myself. Please don’t leave me. The boys slept at their houses last night and I was finally able to cry without disturbing them. The house isn’t the same without you. There's no one making breakfast for us in the morning. No one to cuddle up to when I watch a scary movie. No one to be there for me and love me like you did. No one for me to love the way I loved you. I had a dream about you last night. We were about 40 years old, living in a pretty but odd home. Don't get me wrong, the house was beautiful- but it was all white. Everything was, and we were both in that home… happy. When I woke up today I couldn't find the strength nor motivation to get to the balcony to smoke. I'm sorry, I hope you don't mind. It's just that I don't feel like doing much anymore, living without you is becoming too much of a struggle. I'm sorry Liam, but I just can't go see you today. I hate seeing your nearly lifeless body, just hardly breathing. All the machines, monitors, and medicines around you scare me too. You were so strong Liam, and now you're falling apart at the seams. I'm not doing so well without you either, according to the rest of the boys, because I've gotten paler and thinner. I haven't really noticed.   
I don't know how much longer I can do this Liam, you're still not waking up and your health is only getting worse. If you leave me I'll follow, Liam. Not even death will separate us. I don't want to die, Liam. I don't want to leave Harry, Louis and Niall here, it's already been hard enough on them. Please don't die, Liam. It's all my fault and I know that and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Just please wake up.


End file.
